Have you thought about the way you communicate with your friends, colleagues or boss? Have you at the same time observed that different approaches create very different responses?
Try to notice how you use the word BUT. Do you use it in a way that emphasizes a bad behavior or a good behavior? If you have no idea what I means then look at this tweet - which will give you an idea.
If the other person you are being direct with can feel that you respect them as an individual you will most likely receive a better response then if not. I believe respect and trust are the core components of a mutual good dialogue. And IF the respect and trust is there, THEN you can be more direct in your feedback.
If however the other person DO NOT respect you or trust you, there is a fair chance that direct feedback will not be received positively.
I have the exact same reaction pattern as most people. The minute I feel there is no respect or trust I have difficulties to receive direct feedback. However if I feel some form of respect or trust towards a person I can accept even harsh feedback. How do you react upon direct feedback? And is there a difference who it is coming from - and how?
Please let me know what you think